Monday, September 25, 2017

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Premarital Clothes Washing

Dear Rev. Sister Peg,

My boyfriend and I have been keeping company for six months now, and both of us are determined to remain pure, to save ourselves until marriage and afterwards, when the LORD is pleased that we should start a family. We have been following your advice to do small things together, and the question of washing clothes came up. Specifically, should we start doing each other's clothes? Is that too much for a proper Christian relationship?


Dear Confused,

Your question raises an important niceity with regard to morality. Certainly, doing ordinary things together is meritorious, but the sensitive Christian young lady should be careful both to avoid exposing her intended to temptation, and to avoid temptation, herself. Specifically, the matter of underwear is something to be concerned about. Now I'm sure that you always wear only full-sized chaste white underwear; but you should also refrain from your intended by the LORD seeing them until you have been married for an extended time and his fires have been banked.

When you wash his jeans, be sure to use sufficient starch and iron on the crease.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Civil War Monuments as F*** You Expressions

I guess there's been a lot of printer's ink squandered on Civil War monuments lately, anti and pro. Let's put this in a historical perspective, shall we?

The Civil War was the bloodiest in U.S. history; even more killed or wounded than World War II or the Viet Nam war. It was the most divisive event in our history; and Sectionalism is still a thing today. (As a Tennessean, I have encountered irritating Yankees putting down the South and the Volunteer State in particular.)*

Anyway, after the Civil War, several G.A.R. units from Northern states erected monuments on battle sites such as Shiloh and Lookout Mountain that were often garish and ostentatious. After all, they came mostly from states that wallowed in the Gilded Era!

The South pretty much had to make do with the ordinary business or survival after the Civil War. Any statues they erected came later. So it was, in the 1890-1920 era primarily. Any erecting that went on took place primarily in bed.

Anyway, it dawned on me that the Yankees put up their monuments in part as a message to the South: "We whipped your asses, and we're letting you know it! And we can come around and do it again. And rape your mules, as well."

And they left their sculptures there on the battlefield sites as an original 'F-you, Rebs' message!

So a few years later, their Southern brethren came along and erected their own bronze or marble 'F*** You' expressions. 

In Franklin, where I came from, there's the Confederate soldier nicknamed Chip there. This has always been seen as a token of defiance in Williamson County.

*I can't figure out why they came to a place they don't like. Is this a type of masochism?