Sunday, April 21, 2013

The Terminus Braves Play the Fort Dearborn Cubs

What if U.S. cities kept their original names:

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Letting It ALL Hang Out in the Volunteer State

A former Vice-Mayor William Blakeley of Mt. Carmel, TN was accused by three women of waving and honking his horn to get their attention and then exposed himself while driving more than 90 mph, reported WJHL.

Basically, this amounted to drive-by masturbation at 90 miles per hour.

What I am not able to do is figure out how he simultaneously exposed himself and drove at speeds of 90 mph.  Throw in honking.  Cruise control plus yoga?

Who says they don't know how to have a good time in NE Tennessee?

Friday, April 5, 2013

More Bad Legislation in Tennessee

There's a current bill before the Tennessee House that would tie welfare payments to families based on school performance of the children.  Specifically, if the kids don't make the grades, then the family's welfare money is reduced by 30%.  The idea is that this would ensure better progress in school.

This bill seems to me to be a royally bad idea, poorly conceived and mean-spirited.  

Here's some reasons why:

1.  Some kids are simply unintelligent, and cannot make the mark.

2.  Some are unidentified hyperactive or mentally disturbed, and perform poorly as a result.

3.  Parents do not have complete control over what their children will do.

The sponsor of the bill: ol' Stacey Campfield.  The Ville of Knox elected him.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Defending Tennessee From Running-Dog Georgian Aggression

There has been a dispute between Georgia and Tennessee as to where their common boundary lies.  The upstart Georgians claim it was mis-surveyed, and Georgia has some land coming.  The disputed land includes Lookout Mountain.  No one thinks for a moment that Georgia has set its lecherous sights on Rock City or even the Incline Railroad.  No, they have more serious concerns: access to the Tennessee River to suck it up!

Basically, if the boundary line gets drawn a bit northward, that will include access to Lake Nickajack, part of the Tennessee Rivers system.  And that boil on the buttocks of  the South, Atlanta, will gorge itself in more and more water to water the lawns in Buckhead or other parts of the megapolis.  And never mind downstream Tennessee and Alabama!  [They give Alabama the short end of the stick with the Chattahoochee already.]

This author gives a fanciful, yet seemingly practical, way of thwarting those foul Georgians from doing their nefarious deed.

But in the event of a successful Georgian invasion, I suggest we go the Full Lysistrata on them!

Monday, April 1, 2013

April First

Today's your special day!  It comes only once a year, like Santa's sex life.  So enjoy it!
Vladimir Putain
Nancy Pelosi
Rush Limbaugh
Sen. Harry Byrd (D-Nevada), trying to shoot the bird
Stacey Campfield (R-Knoxville)
Rosie O'Donnell
Jenny McCarthy, doing something constructive.