Saturday, October 25, 2014

Sabrina the Teenage Witch's Roll Tide Panties

Here's a hot tip for those of you who are inclined to bet on football games: the Alabama Crimson Tide will definitely beat the Tennessee Vols.  The actress credits her wearing Alabama panties as being a factor in Alabama's tromping of Texas A & M.  Does this work only with actresses, or should I get some Griz or Blue Raider panties?

Obviously, the Knox News is trying to scrape up something to write about.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Checkerboards and Curses

Now for a little news from the Volunteer State:  On October 4th, Tennessee played their rival Florida at Neyland Stadium in Knoxville.  Coach Butch Jones requested that the fans "checkerboard" Neyland Stadium in a pattern of orange and white.  While the color scheme is Dreamsicle and White, that is U.T.'s colors.  Even though the fans had little lead time for doing so, they turned out handsomely in orange and white:

Things did not go so well in the game itself.  Florida beat Tennessee, 10 - 9.  Some of the fans expressed their disappointment through a profane chant: "F**K Florida.  That was really trashy and low-slung!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Friday, September 12, 2014

Missed You!

But I'll take better aim next time!
Been in MT too long....

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Last Names for Children

The Goddess of True Love had a sense of humor at times.  She managed to make Delbert Loose and Christine Bowels become smitten with each other.  The kept their own names, as couples often do nowadays.

After six months their bouncing baby boy, Darrell, appeared.  But what last name should baby Darrell get?  Darrell Loose, Darrell Bowels, or Darrell Loose-Bowels?  Our intrepid parents decided to name him Darrell Lowell, amalgamating the parents' names.  After all, why stick their beloved son with either ugly name?

The Tennessee Attorney General was recently asked an opinion by a concerned legislator: Can parents give a child of theirs' a surname different from either of theirs'?

The AG's opinion was that either parent's last name was acceptable, or hyphenating the two; but they could not give a child a new last name that was different from both parents'.

Thus a small bit of freedom gets eroded.  Gee, even Republicans can act so arbitrary at times.  In my opinion, the child's first and last name should be solely the parents' decision.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Origin of the Name 'Sooner State'

Oklahoma is the Sooner State. Now what caused this nickname to come about?

There's the Official Version. According to this, there were a series of land rushes when Oklahoma Territory was settled. Some people did not play by the rules, but sneaked past the starting line early in order to get the best locations for their land claims.

In short, the state nickname enshrines people who cheat in land rushes.

But there's an Unofficial Version. When the territory was first settled, the settlement camps drew large numbers of prostitutes who had a large clientile. There was one amazing fact that these daring doxies discovered: the settlers were so excited to see them that they had hair trigger problems. Because of this, they could turn over more business per night than they otherwise could! They were able to turn a healthy profit because of this regional peculiarity among the males.  The state was named after a quaint 1890's term for a male sexual problem: premature ejaculation.

And because they finished so much sooner, the state became known as the Sooner State.

Which version do you prefer?