Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Premarital Clothes Washing

Dear Rev. Sister Peg,

My boyfriend and I have been keeping company for six months now, and both of us are determined to remain pure, to save ourselves until marriage and afterwards, when the LORD is pleased that we should start a family. We have been following your advice to do small things together, and the question of washing clothes came up. Specifically, should we start doing each other's clothes? Is that too much for a proper Christian relationship?


Dear Confused,

Your question raises an important niceity with regard to morality. Certainly, doing ordinary things together is meritorious, but the sensitive Christian young lady should be careful both to avoid exposing her intended to temptation, and to avoid temptation, herself. Specifically, the matter of underwear is something to be concerned about. Now I'm sure that you always wear only full-sized chaste white underwear; but you should also refrain from your intended by the LORD seeing them until you have been married for an extended time and his fires have been banked.

When you wash his jeans, be sure to use sufficient starch and iron on the crease.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Civil War Monuments as F*** You Expressions

I guess there's been a lot of printer's ink squandered on Civil War monuments lately, anti and pro. Let's put this in a historical perspective, shall we?

The Civil War was the bloodiest in U.S. history; even more killed or wounded than World War II or the Viet Nam war. It was the most divisive event in our history; and Sectionalism is still a thing today. (As a Tennessean, I have encountered irritating Yankees putting down the South and the Volunteer State in particular.)*

Anyway, after the Civil War, several G.A.R. units from Northern states erected monuments on battle sites such as Shiloh and Lookout Mountain that were often garish and ostentatious. After all, they came mostly from states that wallowed in the Gilded Era!

The South pretty much had to make do with the ordinary business or survival after the Civil War. Any statues they erected came later. So it was, in the 1890-1920 era primarily. Any erecting that went on took place primarily in bed.

Anyway, it dawned on me that the Yankees put up their monuments in part as a message to the South: "We whipped your asses, and we're letting you know it! And we can come around and do it again. And rape your mules, as well."

And they left their sculptures there on the battlefield sites as an original 'F-you, Rebs' message!

So a few years later, their Southern brethren came along and erected their own bronze or marble 'F*** You' expressions. 

In Franklin, where I came from, there's the Confederate soldier nicknamed Chip there. This has always been seen as a token of defiance in Williamson County.

*I can't figure out why they came to a place they don't like. Is this a type of masochism?

Thursday, August 3, 2017

"When You're Screwin' Other Women (Think of Me)"

Here's Doyle and Debbie, singing "When You're Screwin' Other Women (Think of Me):

The Doyle and Debbie Show is a satirical tribute to Nashville's country music scene. Read about it here.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Safe Spaces

Among the repetitive demands made by students at different universities is that for "safe spaces" where birds of a like feather can flock together with no troublesome encounters with people who might see the world differently and have opinions that differ from theirs'. Holy cow! No, I get the idea that some people may have harder rows to hoe than others; but if higher education is supposed to prepare you for life, then it ought to include exposure to same!

I must admit that I attended M.T.S.U., hardly a hotbed of campus controversy even though it was near a large metro area (Nashville) and largely Tennessean in origins. But, still, there were fresh ideas and I was the better for it. Same with at UM.

Strangely enough, I found my own safe space in the Bitterroots of Montana later on, and was loath to move to the Seattle area. Didn't like contending with traffic, but could deal with the local sttitude.

Darn it all!  Do these safe spaces also have security blankies? And is 1950-style in loco parentis still in effect?

People should go to college to learn, not hibernate.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Dealing with Problems at Thanksgiving Dinner

Lately I've been seeing articles in the big newspapers and magazines regarding peoples' anxiety over possible acrimonious clashes during Thanksgiving that were the result of differences in opinion regarding the recent election. I wonder: is this going to happen to such a degree that it will result in long-term family clashes and discord?

For some, holidays can be a possible meeting with family members who are not easy to get along with, such as uncles who drink too much, aunts who ask embarrassing questions, or misbehavior by cousins.

My grandmother had a solution to de-fuse these problems: cherry pie a la mode and football. Specifically, schedule dinner so that it will not last too long, not too many weird questions asked, no put downs, or the like. The imminence of a big football game, especially a pro game, would serve nicely. The men would congregate around the tube.

This would not work with a UT game, especially the UT - Kentucky game. It is best not to have relatives over on that day. Yes, maybe the Lions and Bears or maybe the Packers. To watch, not for dinner.

And another tip: dilute the Jack Daniels, but don't mention it to anyone.  Most people can't tell the difference.