Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Her Son's Girlfriend's Nipples

Emily Yoffe gives some good advice on something that usually does not come up for most parents.

Briefly, her son's girlfriend never wears a bra, and it's evident. And distracting:

"My 20-year-old son "Ted" has a 19-year-old girlfriend named "Dahlia." Dahlia is very well-endowed and rarely wears a bra. However, she does wear low-cut clothing and often looks like she's about to fall out. The dress she was wearing last night was so small on her that it she couldn't zip it up all the way and she was very close to a nip slip."

Soon they are going on a vacation, and taking Dahlia too.  Emily's advice is kind; necessary for someone who is obviously oblivious to ordinary social conventions:
"You have time to have a friendly and helpful chat with Dahlia before you all go bouncing off on holiday. Take a supportive, not punitive approach:"

[Buy her a few bras.]

Going bra-less is acceptable in some settings; but not in others.  Part of growing up is learning the difference.


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

How Anthony Weiner Can Turn It Around

First of all, let me say that poor Anthony Weiner is getting a bad deal.  Chicken waste liberal papers like the NY Times are calling for him to drop out of the New York Mayor's race, as are his opponents.  And this is all because of a little sexting and sending pictures of his willy to others.

I think that he has a chance, if he would get his matter firmly into hand.  He can re-label himself as the Full Disclosure Candidate -- unlike the others, what you see is what you get.  And, who knows, by using this straightforward disclosure strategy, his campaign might result in a happy ending!

Whatever the size of his equipment, he can't go wrong.  If it's small, he can dismiss the flap as "much ado over nothing," and if it's impressive, he can cite this as a unique qualification for office-holding.

Actually, sexting sexy pictures sounds so Tennessee........

Maybe that's why the New York Nervous Nellies wanted him  to drop out of the mayor's race!

Monday, July 22, 2013

A Seriously Odd Law

I already mentioned Tennessee's 'proud bitch' law.  Now here's an odd one from Alabama.  Did they really wrestle bears there?

Section 13A-12-5 Unlawful bear exploitation; penalties.

(a) A person commits the offense of unlawful bear exploitation if he or she knowingly does any one of the following:

(1) Promotes, engages in, or is employed at a bear wrestling match.

(2) Receives money for the admission of another person to a place kept for bear wrestling.

(3) Sells, purchases, possesses, or trains a bear for bear wrestling.

(4) For purposes of exploitation, subjects a bear to surgical alteration in any form, including, but not limited to, declawing, tooth removal, and severing tendons.

(b) Unlawful bear exploitation is a Class B felony and is punishable as provided by law.

(c) Upon the arrest of any person for violating this section, the arresting law enforcement officer, conservation officer, or animal control officer shall have authority to seize and take custody of any bear in the possession of the arrested person.

(d) Upon the conviction of any person for violating the provisions of this section, any court of competent jurisdiction shall have authority to order the forfeiture by the convicted person of any bear, the use of which was the basis of the conviction. Any bears ordered forfeited under this section shall be placed in the custody of a humane shelter, a society that is incorporated for the prevention of cruelty to animals, or the state Department of Conservation and Natural Resources.

(e) In addition to the fines, penalties, and forfeitures imposed under this section, the court may require the defendant to make restitution to the state, any of its political subdivisions, or a humane shelter or a society that is incorporated for the prevention of cruelty to animals for housing, feeding, or providing medical treatment to bears used for unlawful wrestling.

(Acts 1996, No. 96-468, p. 581, §1.)

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Crossville Doings

Crossville, Tennessee is one of those so-so places just off I-40 between Nashville and Knoxville.

However, this burg gets a little excitement now and then.

For example, several years ago, religious faiths were allowed to erect monuments on the courthouse lawn.  Some adherents to the Flying Spaghetti Monster erected oneof his noodily presence, and the city allowed it.

Now lately, a homeowner was approached by a woman who asked if she could swim in his pool.  The 54-year-old guy didn't figure there was a catch.  There was. He was robbed $1195.

Alas, no pictures.  Too bad.  This could be worthy of a Playboy or Maxim spread.  Just for the novelty of it.

And Crossville residentswho learn who was the woman among them.

Would she be stripped of church fellowship, or recruited by the Methodists?


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Charles M. Russell

Charles M. Russell was a 19th century Montana artist who painted dramatic Western scenes, featuring sometimes what people wanted to conceive of the West, and sometimes what it was like:

The Hold-Up

Three Indians
Smoke of a .45

Where the Nose of a Horse Beats the Eyes of a Man


Friday, July 5, 2013

Eliminating the Opposition

"Low Tax" Looper was a Tennessee politician who had an interesting career.

He attended West Point for two years; and later ran for the Georgia House of Representatives as a Democrat.  He lost.

Moving to Tennessee, he joined the Republican Party in 1992.  In his first political foray, he lost in a race for the House.  However, he later won in a race for Putnam County Assessor, defeating an encumbent with a very negative campaign and an absence of public appearances.

His performance as a tax assessor was dubious; seldom showing up for work and having irregularities in tax assessments. 

The Republican Party dropped him like a turd.  However, he ran for the State Senate, and happened to be the only Republican on the ballot to run against the well-entrenched Democratic Candidate, Tommy Burks.

Two weeks before the election, Tommy Burks was found shot dead in his automobile, and the killer was identified as his opponent, Byron Looper.

Because Tennessee state law required that the name of a candidate who died before the election be removed from the ballot and would not allow the candidate's party to replace a deceased candidate who died within 30 days of the election, Looper became the only candidate listed on the official ballot for the senate seat.

Charlotte Burks, the widow of Tommy Burks, mounted a write-in candidacy for her husband's seat.  Her write-in campaign got massive support from volunteers of both parties. 

She won the election, with 30,252 votes to Looper's 1,531.

 One of her first initiatives as state senator was to introduce legislation to ensure that the name of any candidate who dies within 40 days of an election could remain on the ballot, thus preventing the situation that occurred after her husband's death.

Charlotte Burks remains in the state senate, having won re-election in 2002, 2006, and 2010.

"Low Tax" Looper was convicted of murder and spent the rest of his life in the Tennessee State Prison, where he  died in 2013.