Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Meaning What We Pay Lip Service to in Tolerance

I'm not sure why it should be the case, but there's a disconnect between the truism that people are different, and everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion and how people act in a number of situations.

Let me use three examples from back home: the Muslim mosque in Murfreesboro, the ado over the finding that one department head in Gov. Halsam's administration is a Muslim, and redistricting of the Tennessee General Assembly.

We pay lip service to the amendment of the Constitution regarding freedom of religion; so why was it so difficult and dragged out for Muslims to be able to build and open their mosque  in M-boro?  Seriously, would the Baptists or the Methodists have those kind of impediments?  Or even the adherents to the Jon Frum religion or followers of Zeus?

Likewise, the mossback East Tennessee politicians are acting totally shocked that their Governor, a Republican also, would have a Muslim in his cabinet!  Oh dear . . . . this is not how this Freedom of Religion thing should be played out!

Redistricting is mandated by the state constitution.  But the Democrats are complaining that they're being screwed in the process.  From what I read, thay sounds like it might be true.  Now both parties play that game when they can, but that doesn't make it right.

A modest proposal:  Let us all try to butt into each others' lives and our visions of pursuing happiness as little as possible.  try to avoid offense, if possible.  Here's a few examples:

1.  Dial down on the language used to refer to people who believe different from oneself.  Don't call them morons, or douchebags, of the like.

2.  Don't take every opportunity to flaunt your religion in public settings.  If you do an invocation prayer, make it as general and nonsecterian as possible.  So, no endings like "In Jesus Christ's name we pray."  That cuts out the Jews and Muslims.

3.  Play radios and music systems at a moderate, nonintrusive level.  Maybe people don't want to hear football songs or John Philip Sousa music at 140 dB.

4.  Wear a nonprovocative swimsuit in places that are frequented by people who are offended by what they consider unseemly display.

5.  Don't drive like you're the only person on the road.

6.  Conduct demonstrations for or against a cause in a respectful manner.

7.  Whenever you have  to play fetch with your dog.thought, "But I have a right," thing also about the rights of others and how your exercise of your rights affects them.

8.  Smile, and speak softly.  Leave the big stick at home.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Religion in Crossville, Tennessee

Tennessee is a very religious state, mostly of the Southern Baptist kind.  And it's not surprising that Evangelical Christians would like symbols of their faith in public places, like courthouse lawns.  And  Crossville, Tennessee went in for that.  However, the rule allowed any religion to have a monument there, if requested.

Thus the Flying Spaghetti Monster made the courthouse lawn in Crossville.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Ten Colleges with the Hottest Guys

Her Campus, an online community for college women has announced some non-traditional college rankings, including the category of ten universities with the hottest men.  No, the University of Montana did not make the list.

Anyway, here's the official list from Her Campus with my annotations]:

1.  Wake Forest University:  One student describes it as “the smallest school with the highest model population.”  [They're Baptists]

2.  The University of Virginia: Super fit Southern gentlemen. Need I say more?  [They like their alcohol]

3.  The University of Wisconsin: A diverse student body full of men who are “passionate and enjoy opening new doors in their school’s community”? I’m sold.  [They wear cheese hats at the slightest provocation]

4.  James Madison University: The guys here aren’t just hot, they’re super happy and nice.

5.  Boston College: Evidently the guys here looked like they just walked out of a J. Crew ad. In related news, I want to move to Boston immediately.  [Living in Boston costs mucho dinero, and it's cold.]

6.  The University of California at Santa Barbara: Surf’s up in “Santa Babe-ra”.   [A lot of surfer girls are there, too.]

7.  Colby College: Looking for the “preppy outdoorsy type”? Head to Colby.  [It's in Maine]

8.  Yale University: Yale still has a 50% male population at a time when more women are taking over college campus. Plus, their dudes are brainy and beautiful.  [You have to be supersmart or well-connected to get it.]

9.  Georgetown University: Nerd alert, nerd alert! One senior says they’ve got “the sexiest nerds around.”  [It's Catholic, and it's in D.C. ]

10.  Duke University: Is a guy with “blond flow, preppy button-ups and mid-calfs with Sperrys” your dream dude? Then Duke is the college for you, even it did get ranked the second “douchiest” by GQ.  [Preppy to the max.]

Read More http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2012/07/the-10-colleges-with-the-hotte.html#ixzz21MRq9278

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Where the Large Richards Are

Strictly for academic interest, this world map is provided to indicate which countries have the largest average penis size:

Green:  Largest
Light Green:  Next Largest
Yellow:  Middle
Cream:  Smallish
Red:  Smallest

In my limited experience, I am not convinced that having sex with a guy with a larger penis size results in more satisfaction for the woman he is having sex with.  However, in the language of statistics, my sample size is small (!) but enjoyed nevertheless.  For guys anxious about this, learn to be adept at foreplay, especially faire minette.

As a nonsequitur, in some parts of New Mexico, the slang word for the male thingy is "chile," after the pepper.  Once a senorita commented to a cowboy that the temperature was pretty chilly.

He respoded, "Gracias. senorita."

Monday, July 16, 2012

Do You Know Where Your Governor Is?

The case of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford who went missing a few years ago naturally prompted diligent investigative reporters to look into the state of the Governers of the States. 

Oh yes! Various governers' offices and homes were called by story-hungry action news reporters craving a story, preferably a delicious one, with a mandatory trifecta of alcohol, financial irregularities, and loose women on the side. After all, in our thirst for novelty and scandal which has become finer-toned over time, commonplace irregularities might not be anough even to make page 4 of the second section, or a brief mention before the weather and the sports. 

One such reporter, Tillie Thompson, called the offices of several state governers, and got the following:

"The Governer is playing Galaxy Ranger; and he's up to Level VI. If I were to interrupt him, he would not be a happy camper."

"The Governer is out of the room. It's important? Okay, I'll transfer him to his alternative phone." Governor So-and-so speaking . . . ." [Sound of flushing]

"Are you his mistress? I wish he would go out at his age and get a nice girlfriend."

"The Governer is taking the Executive Trash out to the street." "Oh, I wasn't aware that he was meeting with the Attorney General."

"It's 4:20. You don't have to ask what the Governer is doing."

"He's watching "Dancing With the Stars."

"The Governer is in the happy place."

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Be Corrupt Properly

Be corrupt properly!

Re: ''The Godfather tradition lives on'' (Sunday Forum, June 17).

Bravo to Khun Voranai Vanijaka for his very insightful piece. He is right on target with what is happening to democracy in Thailand and why it will never work.

I have often thought that the national anthem should be changed to Speak Softly Love. But of course it could also apply to most other countries around the world.

Whether you're talking about the police force, armed forces, local or national politics, the Black Hand is always lurking. But unlike the polls Khun Voranai cited where the majority of Thais don't mind corruption if they too can benefit from it, I don't mind corruption if services are at least done properly.

I don't mind paying a bit more to feed the system, but at least do the job right! Show a little more pride in your corruption!


--------------------From the Bangkok Press

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Where the Big Boobs Are, Besides Congress

I read recently that the average bra size in the UK increased from 34B in the 1960's to 36D today.  Since I was curious, I wanted to see if there were any differences by country.

There were.  Basically, the average breast cup size is coded as follows:

A cup:  Green

B cup:  Blue

C cup:  Yellow

D cup:  Orange

More than D cup:  Red

Obviously, the is a confluence of several dimensions that determine this, including genetics, age, weight, pendulosity, intentional augmentation, and so forth.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Montana Testicle Festival

The Montana Testicle Festival is held yearly at the Rock Creek Lodge in Clinton, Montana, which hosted the event since the 1980s.  During this festival, there is a tradition of playing a game called Booze and Balls. People from all over visit just to eat some Rocky Mountain Oysters — deep-fried bull testicles — and get some buzz with beer on this four-day festival.

Other activities also include wet parties with a twist.  Visitors will usually see a man spraying water over a young woman contestant from a wooden penis attached to a hose.  The contestant usually removes their clothes one by one for the crowd during this wet T-shirt contest.  Meanwhile, other people can also watch the Undie 500 on the other side, where racers drink beer, ride tricycles, and remove articles of clothing when they perform poorly.  Full naked contestants by the end of these competitions are usual.

The crowd also dances to live music at the Testicle Festival.  There is also a custom in the event in which a man displays beads around his neck at the Festival and gives them to women in hopes that the women will expose their breasts.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Being Middle of the Road

If I may venture an opinion, inhabitants of small states where stories originate there less often have a peculiar burden: being middle of the road in which they make the news.  The fact is, there are odd, weird-acting people everywhere, and weirdness is an easy news story.  Therefore, there is going to be x percentage of news items of news weirdness.  Now, if you live in a small, less-often-mentioned state and someone there does something weird, then your state gets peculiarly associated with weirdness.

Examples, the Tennessee legislature has given its all in making news of the weird, and maybe the column by that name.  And remember the Unibomber?  Or how about Wide Stance Larry?

Actually, Alabama and Vermont manage to appear certifiably weird.  Remember My Cousin Vinny where the yokels get straighten out by the guido lawyer?

Therefore, I am suggesting that, if you live in flyover country, then join the Rotary Club and the Episcopal Church.  And vote for Romney or Obama, but not be very fervent about it.  For God's sake, don't form an off-brand political party, or follow some Holy Roller church, or even have unusual names that you're known by. 

Sorry, no double-barreled names, like Billy Joe (too Southern), or William Thundercloud (too Western) or Jesus (too Mid-Eastern).  People living on the Coast expect blandness from flyover territory.  Well, maybe you can get away with local foods like pasties or four-bean salad; but nothing too outrageous, like armadillo.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Hard Knox Rollergirls

Knoxville, Tennessee has a Roller Derby team, the Hard Knox: