The case of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford who went missing a few years ago naturally prompted diligent investigative reporters to look into the state of the Governers of the States.
Oh yes! Various governers' offices and homes were called by story-hungry action news reporters craving a story, preferably a delicious one, with a mandatory trifecta of alcohol, financial irregularities, and loose women on the side. After all, in our thirst for novelty and scandal which has become finer-toned over time, commonplace irregularities might not be anough even to make page 4 of the second section, or a brief mention before the weather and the sports.
One such reporter, Tillie Thompson, called the offices of several state governers, and got the following:
"The Governer is playing Galaxy Ranger; and he's up to Level VI. If I were to interrupt him, he would not be a happy camper."
"The Governer is out of the room. It's important? Okay, I'll transfer him to his alternative phone." Governor So-and-so speaking . . . ." [Sound of flushing]
"Are you his mistress? I wish he would go out at his age and get a nice girlfriend."
"The Governer is taking the Executive Trash out to the street." "Oh, I wasn't aware that he was meeting with the Attorney General."
"It's 4:20. You don't have to ask what the Governer is doing."
"He's watching "Dancing With the Stars."
"The Governer is in the happy place."
I don't want to know where my Governor is after hours.
ReplyDeleteAt the phone company the head guy had a phone right next to the throne.
ReplyDeleteThe governor can go anywhere he wants. He can cause less damage there than he can in his office.
ReplyDeleteI don't need my governor to furnsh me with excuses for lewd thoughts, and I'm a lutefisk lesbian.
ReplyDelete