Thursday, December 8, 2016

Safe Spaces

Among the repetitive demands made by students at different universities is that for "safe spaces" where birds of a like feather can flock together with no troublesome encounters with people who might see the world differently and have opinions that differ from theirs'. Holy cow! No, I get the idea that some people may have harder rows to hoe than others; but if higher education is supposed to prepare you for life, then it ought to include exposure to same!

I must admit that I attended M.T.S.U., hardly a hotbed of campus controversy even though it was near a large metro area (Nashville) and largely Tennessean in origins. But, still, there were fresh ideas and I was the better for it. Same with at UM.

Strangely enough, I found my own safe space in the Bitterroots of Montana later on, and was loath to move to the Seattle area. Didn't like contending with traffic, but could deal with the local sttitude.

Darn it all!  Do these safe spaces also have security blankies? And is 1950-style in loco parentis still in effect?

People should go to college to learn, not hibernate.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Dealing with Problems at Thanksgiving Dinner

Lately I've been seeing articles in the big newspapers and magazines regarding peoples' anxiety over possible acrimonious clashes during Thanksgiving that were the result of differences in opinion regarding the recent election. I wonder: is this going to happen to such a degree that it will result in long-term family clashes and discord?

For some, holidays can be a possible meeting with family members who are not easy to get along with, such as uncles who drink too much, aunts who ask embarrassing questions, or misbehavior by cousins.

My grandmother had a solution to de-fuse these problems: cherry pie a la mode and football. Specifically, schedule dinner so that it will not last too long, not too many weird questions asked, no put downs, or the like. The imminence of a big football game, especially a pro game, would serve nicely. The men would congregate around the tube.

This would not work with a UT game, especially the UT - Kentucky game. It is best not to have relatives over on that day. Yes, maybe the Lions and Bears or maybe the Packers. To watch, not for dinner.

And another tip: dilute the Jack Daniels, but don't mention it to anyone.  Most people can't tell the difference.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Sexy Underwear

It pays to consider how the sexes view sexy underwear. Seriously, that's how some guys think. 

And remember, their wearing clean underwear is not a given; it depends on what day of the week it is. That takes planning.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

What Is Sweater Weather?

There was an interesting story from about how cool is "sweater weather" in different states. Apparently, it's 55 degrees in MT; 60 in TN. Right now it's 40 - coat weather, in my opinion.

In South Dakota sweater weather kicks in at 52 degrees.

At least I deem it so. Natives seem to be a lot hardier than me.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Is Showing Nipples Through Clothing a Faux Pas?

Yesterday was National No-Bra Day. And numerous ladies freed their ladies in celebration of this auspicious day. But a little tell-tale issue comes up. This column from Dear Prudence points out the issue.

It's pokies. Yes, often when you go braless you may have your nipple outlines show through your blouse. As a matter of fact, in the fall it's a foregone conclusion that they will be obvious. 

So, what to do? Wear a bra and be uncomfortable, or not give a damn. After all, women have breasts, so people should get over it. What do you think? Is it rude to show, or just relaxed?

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Monday, October 10, 2016

Oh, Canada!

How about a suitable coat-of-arms for the Great North? It's easy to like this, eh? God Save the Queen and Justin Treudeau.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Friday, September 30, 2016

The Coiffure Test for Trump Partisanship

The old saws that "you can't tell a book by its cover" or "you can't tell a dude by his duds" have only a certain degree of truth to them. Both are warnings against hasty decision making.

On the other hand, with the availability of t-shirts with slogans on them, you might make headway some of the time. Still, there's the simile of a trout struggling upstream that comes to mind.  

But is there any easy-peasy way of judging Trump supporters? 

If you care, it's in their hair. In a limited way.

Specifically, if he's sporting a mullet, he's likely to be a Trump supporter. Or, she's got big hair, she's likely to be a Trumpette.

Of course, there are the Trump supporters who pass for normal by getting mainstream 'dos. But mullets are so Trumpian; maybe Rudy Giuliani should get one.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Tennessee Man Enjoys the Sanctity of Marriage

A LaFollette man is looking forward to enjoying the sanctity of marriage for the fourth time in 11 years. Joseph D., 47, exchanged vows in a small ceremony at Cove Lake State Park on Saturday. He is wedded to Dana, who became his new fiancé just three weeks ago. D.'s third soul mate left him a month ago following a combination of irreconcilable differences and a report from a private investigator. "What can I say, I fell in love," said Joseph. "And then I fell in love again. And then I fell in love again. And then I did it again. I must not have a very low center of gravity." D. maintains that while he has had trouble staying faithful to his previous wives, he is a proponent of family values. "I value family," he said. "I'm hoping to have at least a couple more of them before I turn 50."

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Banning the Bikini in Utah

While it took a long time to be accepted, the bikini swimsuit has been pretty well mainstream nowadays. Unlike the burkini, which has been banned on some French beaches.

To be sure, the present manifestations of this popular swimsuit have trended to the briefer, unlike the 1950's and 1960's versions. 

About a decade ago, Kanab, a small town in Utah, banned the bikini. This prohibition lasted about a month, before the community leadership repealed the ban. Otherwise, such an outright banning is associated with associated with such dismal places as Qatar. [Do they orient visitors on how to pronounce it?]

Anyway, they repealed the ban because of complaints and the fact that they came out looking like horses' asses. So they dialed down and banned thongs instead. 

If I was a thong-wearer, they would take it away from me by prying it from my cold dead hands. Or is that a cheeky thing to say?

Friday, September 16, 2016

Impure Thought-Causing Cheerleaders

Recently, a Mormon boy in Utah complained to his momma that the short skirts on cheerleaders gave him "impure thoughts." In turn, the lady complained to the school about this tent-raising phenomenon; and the cheer squad cannot wear their cheerleading outfits on the day of the game.

Well now, why is he complaining? Let's try to reason this out, shall we?

Is it likely that Junior experienced real distress because of these thoughts, or the trouser tent that seem to go with them? Maybe he is so easily turned on, and not enjoying it. Especially if he's been properly brainwashed beforehand.

No, my guess is that he's doing a cosmic prank on the girls, the school, and the community. The LDS church is very into proper dress (including the Mormon undies). And the schools waver at any breeze of possible community disapproval, especially from the powers that be.

Maybe some cheerleader turned him down, and he's getting his revenge this way. Or maybe he's trying to appear latter-day saintly to his doting mama. I'm just cynical enough to call this a ploy on his part.

When I was in high school, both the boys and girls would try various means to confound the school board, the principal, teachers, and parents. And sometimes they were successful! It's the consequence of conducting education in semi-authoritarian manners. Sometimes the prisoners do beat the system.

Anyway, check out the cheer outfits for Timpview High in Ogden, Utah, where these "impure thoughts" were supposedly elicited. It's in the People magazine article in the link.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Thursday, September 8, 2016

A Drinking Game for the Debates

I guess the debate (or non-debate) between Hillary and The Donald will take place later this month as scheduled. 

In order for friends to have some fun while watching it, they could fall back on an old drinking game. How about this:

Each player writes down 10 phrases or clichés that she expects a particular candidate to use. If the candidate uses that during the debate, he is allowed a sip of beer if he says "OMFG." Then the other players must remove an article of clothing.

The first one to finish his or her glass is declared the winner. If only one mug or glass is used, everybody practices moderation.  

If the non-winners wish, the remaining glasses can receive fresh beer and they can continuing until one of the remaining players becomes starkers.

Everyone sort of wins. Especially the one allowed to strip.

And a lesson comes home: Clinton and Trump are likely to drivw people to drink.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Friday, August 26, 2016

Banning the Burkini

This would have to be an off-the-wall story on a movie comedy (possibly a rom-com): the country that gave rise to the bikini swimsuit actually had laws in some towns on the Riviera that women cannot wear too much clothing on the beach.

Specifically, the too much clothing in question is a swimsuit that covers the entire body, except for the face, the feet, and the hands. Yes, it's the dreaded burkini, a feared symbol of Islamic revolution! Oh, the burkini; and it got some French mayors' knickers in a knot. 

Most of us in the 21th century are glad that Brigitte Bardot popularized the bikini, except some reactionaries who press their daughters to join "True Love Waits" and women's magazines that write that women above 30 should stop wearing bikinis. I'm there; I still wear one.

Anyway, a higher court in France negated those towns' anti-burkini laws. I'm not expecting the decorum and safety of southern France beaches to be marred by an occasional woman wearing a burkini! 

And WTF, guys? Don't you feel frickin' foolish for all this?

Blush Berlin Lingerie Ad

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Montana Barbies: Collect the Set!

Just a little Barbie humor from Big Sky Country. Look what the A. B. Guthrie fictional characters evolved into:

To find out about these and others, go to this site.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Summer in Montana

Well, summer has come to Montana! 

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Monday, August 1, 2016

Overly Attached Girlfriend

Some girls are so happy that they have a boyfriend. Tammy was one of those. She became one of those overly attached girlfriends, expecting Matt to call her twice each night, and always had a lot of questions and advice about him and his buds that he saw .  .  .  . too often, in Tammy's opinion.

She also tended to advise Matt on what he should wear. Lately, she became anxious about his g.f. tackle. Was he careful, did he wear a supporter, what he called his Matt strap. Anyway, she just liked to assure herself that it was all still there.

Matt wished Tammy would keep those moments private.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Decorated B-25 from World War II

While the aviators were off in Europe or in the Pacific during World War II, aviators were apparently allowed to personalize their planes with decorations. Some of these are quiet good; many were racy. Here's one from a B-25....

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Cool Starry Bra

The original term was "cool story, bro." This looks like a fun and very feminine bra.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Legal Penalties for Adultery

I found this around somewhere, in case you want to fool around:

1. Arizona
Getting it on with someone other than your spouse is a Class 3 misdemeanor here, punishable by up to 30 days behind bars. And not only will the spouse be penalized but also the other person (now that's justice!).

2. Florida
In a place where bathing suits are the dress code, how can eyes not wander? Still, he should keep his hands to himself: Floridian adulterers can spend up to two months in jail and be charged up to $500.

3. Kansas
"Intercourse or sodomy" with someone other than your spouse is a Class C misdemeanorhere, punishable by up to a month in jail and a fine of up to $500. Remember, Kansas couples: There's no place like home.

4. Illinois
Frank Sinatra probably wouldn't consider Chicago "His Kind of Town" if he knew about this state law. The consequences for adultery in Illinois is up to a year in jail for both cheaters.

5. Massachusetts
Straying in the Bay State is a wicked bad idea. It's considered a felony with a fine of up to $500 and a jail sentence of up to three years.

6. Oklahoma
If Oklahoma native Dr. Phil's anti-cheating advice doesn't persuade him, perhaps this will: Not only do adulterers face fines of up to $500 but also incarceration for up to five years.

7. Idaho
The penalty for cheating in Idaho is no small potatoes: Adultery is a felony that comes with a fine of up to $1,000 and as much as three years in jail.

8. Michigan

It's a felony and a Class H offense to two-time your spouse here, but the price for your crime is "jail or other intermediate sanction," according to the State of Michigan Sentencing Guideline Manual. With an unclear consequence like that, it's not worth it to succumb to temptation.

9. Wisconsin
Cheating cheeseheads better be rich. Those caught may need to cough up a whopping $10,000. Oh, and the possible three years behind bars doesn't sound fun, either.

10. Minnesota
The law for adultery in Minnesota is just as cold as the state itself. If you're caught cheating, you can be fined up to $3,000 and imprisoned for as long as a year.

11. Utah
We're not sure how the state's famous polygamists are free men, but infidelity can land you a sentence of up to 6 monthswith a fine of up to $1,000.

12. New York
Sleeping around in the city that never sleeps, or anywhere else in the Empire State, for that matter, could result in as long as 3 months of jail time.

13. Mississippi
Vow-breakers better pray the system treats its inmates to Southern hospitality. The Mississippi statutes say that cheaters "shall be fined in any sum not more than $500 each, and imprisoned in the county jail not more than six months."

14. Georgia
Be a peach to your partner to avoid a fine of up to $1,000 or a jail sentence of up to a year.

15. South Carolina
Cheating here can send you to the slammer for anywhere from six months to a year, or could get you a fine between $500 to $1,000.

16. North Carolina
This southern state isn't as hard on their cheaters. The unfaithful spend no more than 30 days in lockup.

And then there's Maryland:
Where you could go on a movie date or cheat on your spouse for the same price. The fine for betraying your beloved is only $10 here.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Periodic Attention Whore Award

That old internet meme "Look at me - I'm an attention whore" can serve as a guide for this increasingly necessary award. Some people just can't resist doing something that would cause them to be noticed, no matter how trivial or superfluous it might be. Okay, just let me 'splain things by giving this current awardee:

The Tennessee General Assembly. Very recently the Tennessee Senate has revived a bill to make the Bible the Official Book of the State of Tennessee. Now just what is this all about? Is this to bait liberals, or to make a pious statement, or because all the legislators want to come together and sing "Kumbaya"?

My point is that this is unnecessary, same as if the General Assembly made "Goodnight Moon" the Official Book of the State of Tennessee.

There's an allied example: when one of the 50 states passes legislation that might be socially unpopular, some state or city official pronounces a ban on travel to that state for state employees. Yes, it looks sexy as hell: they come across as socially responsible and right-minded when what the other state did may be wrong but is none of their damned business! Specifically, when North Carolina recently passed legislation possibly bad for gays and transgender people, New York and other entities forbade travel to that state.

Seriously, why should Carolinians give a damn? And how often do New Yorkers officially travel to North Carolina? Holy empty gesture, Batman!

My point is, legislatures should keep to acting on necessary matters, and not make purely symbolic gestures.

And state or local officials should mind their own business and not act like moral compasses for others. That played very well in school years ago, but they come across as insufferable prigs now!

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Time to Revive an Old Term

The quality of political discourse has declined even in the Post-Common Sense Era of the tens. The center cannot hold; mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, as Billy Yeats put it years ago. 

It's time to summon an old term into our national dialogue. We have demagogues enough. I think most Senators are demagogue wannabees, from what they say; and that's strong enough.

No, the term I have in mind is rabble rouser. I know that's politically incorrect as can be; but give me some room here, y'all!

At least one Presidential candidate seems to encourage mistreatment of protesters and his vilified the press. I know journalists are as popular as a bastard at a family reunion (particularly if he's from sainted granny's side)! But this poorly coiffured clown seems to relish retaliation against protesters.

And some protest idiots, bless their hearts, seem to be more inventive in their disruptive ways. 

There's a small percentage of the population (I hope) that might be accurately described as goons. And a few whose scales might be tipped towards goonishness. But this is not to be encouraged. These are the rabble I have in mind.

Nice politicians should not poke a stick in the doghouses of rabble. Don't shout "havoc" and let slip the dogs of war.

And don't be a rabble rouser. You don't have any means of putting on the brakes of rabble once they're set in motion. There are still rough beasts out there, prone to slouch to Washington.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Crazy Crap from South Carolina

School superintendents are not immune from dumbass decisions. This one takes the cake:

Here's the story:

"Union County High School teacher Leigh Anne Arthur says she left her phone on her desk for a few minutes while she went out on a routine patrol of the school's hallways. A 16-year-old student opened her phone, which wasn't protected with a password, and found pictures of Arthur that included shots of her partially undressed. The student used his own phone to take pictures of the partial nudes and send them around."

So the poor lady was humiliated by this awful intrusion on her privacy and modesty. (The partially nude pictures were for her husband.) 

Surely the little twerp was expelled, or at least suspended. Nope.

Instead the School Superintendent asked for her resignation, and she was forced out.

What is wrong with this picture? A lot. She was the VICTIM, not the perp. What was the Superintendent thinking? Does he have shit for brains?

It's sort of like the lame argument that the Marriott attorney made in the Erin Andrews suit in Nashville: the nude pictures that a voyeur took of her from a peephole helped her career?

That guy needs a serious butt whipping!

Monday, February 22, 2016


I just heard about Superdelegates, and I am sick. Why does the party call itself the Democratic Party? Shouldn't it be called the Plutocratic Party, or maybe the Autocratic Party?

The moral high ground looks like an anthill.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

What's Now in the News

Well, politics and regional partisan rivalries is just getting too nasty. Even the staid old Washington Post has gotten into name-calling, calling residents of New Hampshire swamp Yankees and making it sound like a colder version of Kentucky or Jersey.

And some old cow has promised me real estate in Hell. Which, in a liberal universe, would be Heck. 

While no one is saying necessarily that Americans are getting more broad-beamed, U.S. Representative Steve Cohen (D-Tenn) has introduced a bill mandating minimum passenger seat size on airlines.

The media is still hashing out which Super Bowl commercial was the best; and Beyoncé triumphed over Coldplay, which is about like Adele or Kelly Clarkston triumphing over Nickleback.

The University of Iowa got its goat back.

And how about a ten year-old supermodel?

Monday, February 8, 2016

The 'Super Bowl Babies' Commercial

Am I the only one stunned by the "Super Bowl Babies" commercial? The commercial, if you had taken a pee or went to fetch a advertised Super Bowl-sponsored beer and didn't see them, featured groups of cute children in different groups plus some adults who were born nine months after the parents' preferred team won the Super Bowl.

Is the N.F.L. saying that your team winning the Super Bowl is an occasion for unprotected coitus? Of course, the horny parents could be married, but there's no way of knowing.

This series of commercials could be a harbinger for others, like the parents buy a new Toyota. They immediately drive off into the park, get into the back seat for a celebratory screw. Or the Doritos makes you horny commercial. Or sometime incorporate a strip into the product ad leading up to standing intercourse.

At least hopefully we won't see Clydesdale sex!

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Montana Bear Art

Here's one by Carol Hagan.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Mermaids at the Sip 'n Dip

The Sip 'n Dip Lounge in Great Falls, Montana has a most unusual attraction: an indoor aquarium stocked with girls dressed as mermaids. The Sip 'n Dip has been around for a long time; and is the premier attraction in Great Falls. It's an appealing tiki bar. The mermaids, added in 1995, were six local girls who swim while wearing fishy costumes. Because the tails preclude much movement, they must have strong arms.

It's a nice place to visit and have a drink!

Friday, January 1, 2016