Friday, August 1, 2014

You Can't Shoot Bigfoot in Washington State

Good news!  The legislators in Washington passed a law making the Shooting of Bigfoot to be a crime, punishable by prison and a whooping fine!

Here is the actual text of the law:

Whereas there is evidence indicate the possible existence of an undiscovered species a primate mammal variously described as Bigfoot, Sasquatch, an ape-like creature or a subspecies of Homo Sapiens.

Whereas, reported recent and past sightings, research by anthropologist, Primatologists, biologists, forensic experts, cryptozoologists, independent organizations, private individuals and the famous chimpanzee researcher Jane Goodall support this possibility.

Whereas, the absence of specific laws covering the slaying, taking, trapping or harassing of said specimens encourages laxity in the use of firearms and other deadly devices and poses a clear and present threat to the safety and well-being of persons living or traveling within the boundaries of the creatures habitat as well as to the creatures themselves.

Whereas, for the safety of all, the carrying or dispersing of firearms requires a sense of responsibility to all surrounding individuals and animals. It is the shooters full responsibility to correctly identify the species before the taking of aim and or the killing of a species, therefore ignorance will not absolve the shooter of said charges.

Whereas, be it resolved that any premeditated, willful and wanton slaying harassing or any malicious activities upon such creature shall be deemed a felony punishable by a fine not to exceed One hundred Thousand Dollars ($100,000) and/or imprisonment, not to exceed ten (10) years.

Whereas, in the event of the slaying or capture of said creature any and all (moneys) proceeds and revenues shall be donated to a state college for future studies and or the protection of said creatures. The rights and physical possession to the said creature shall also be immediately donated to a state college, for further studies.


  1. Another urgent issue resolved! Now for an official state bacteria

    ALOHA from Honolulu
    =^..^= . <3 . >< } } (°>

  2. I guess stand your ground won't count when it comes to bigfoot. Too bad people won't have the same protection.

  3. Bigfoot, if he exists, is safe. I'm so glad.