Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Corporate Sponsors for Strippers

Wanda Bodestar pondered the parlous state of exotic dancing in the Oughts: the salaries of strippers had not yet readjusted to go with the increased demands of the business, and the fickle customer base required more and more in terms of gimmicks. Last year, for example, poor Wanda spent over $4000 in hard-earned money on mighty skimpy work-related costumes. (But at least they could be written off on the income tax, that's a small consolation.) In short, what's a poor girl to do: the overhead had risen like inflation in the Carter years but the adjustments were as meager as the costumes allowed in Vegas.

In order to ease her troubles, Wanda watched a NASCAR race. Unknown to most Americans, perhaps intentionally by both NASCAR and the National Organzation of Strippers (their union), most exotic dancers and go-go girls watch NASCAR for recreation. She chilled out: it was the second pina colada that did it (another dirty little secret of that respectable profession). Then the post-race program came on, with the mandatory insincere deep-throat guzzling of the Pepsi by the winner.

And it dawned on her a solution: Have strippers get corporate sponsors. Yes, they could start off with the initial outfit festooned with various corporate logos and symbols. As she sheds each one, the focus of the audience in the gentlemen's club is on the ad, er garment, bearing the ad.

Little Egypt could not have been more effective with her Dance of the Seven Veils!


The idea was a big success.

Now at the Highway 97 Gentlemen's Club, Wanda is in the middle of her act. She teasingly plays to remove the Exide battery logo as the audience looks on. But all are ultimately awaiting the removal STP emblem or the Chevrolet logo, suitably sponsored by those corporations! Because of a local ordinance, Wanda will remained clothed in the virtue of the Taco Bell logo.

Ain't America grand!

1 comment:

  1. Aww! Strippers wouldn't be as crass as NASCAR drivers, would they?