The Rochester, Michigan Swimsuit Inspection Law

In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer

Immediately I wondered if this law in Rochester was enforced, and what were the penalties for noncompliance? Does the police have a swimsuit squad, and do they wear spiffy uniforms? What sorts of swimsuits are legal? Or is it simply a ploy to give underworked police officers something to do?

What a nice place it must be. Do little fat policemen get kitties out of trees, and loiter around Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kreme? Apparently, in the absence of serious crimes like murder and meth manufacturing, they can regulate swimwear.

Actually, I see this law as simply a strategy for getting the Rochester Police Department on Cops, rounding up those thong or string bikini-wearers.

And, of course, after they've rounded up their quota of Michigan bikini girls, they could repair to the doughnut shop for some restoration in the form of coffee and doughnuts, as the theme music goes "Bad girls, bad girls, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"

When You Don't Want an Encounter

How did she get in that state of dishabille?

Skin the Bunny

There are drinking games and there are drinking games. Most people are familiar with Cardinal Puff, but fewer know of Skin the Bunny. Maybe because it's peculiar to the midwest.

Now when people think of the Cornhole Game when they think of the midwest: the game in which players attempt to toss beanbags trough holes in a board. (Or so they tell outsiders; but some of us know what they really mean!) But skin the bunny is less commonly reported.

Here's how it's played. It's like people trying to catch a greased pig, except that whcih is to be caught is a girl who is slathered with grease and wearing a skimpy bikini top. The contestants who are actually in the chase or all somewhat obese males in different degrees of intoxication. It's even better if the bunny is quite good at dodging the chasers: it provides a barrel full of laughs.

When one finally catches the bunny, he can then skin the bunny; that is, take off her bikini top and allow himself to be caressed by her.

Barbarous! We need to send missionaries to convert these Midwesterners to righteousness!

Topless in St. Martin

One of the pleasures on the trip to Sint Maarten/St. Martin was being able to doff my bikini top to sunbathe and not worry about "accidents." Back home, in order to get an even tan, I unhook the back strap but leave the neck tied. That way, should I forget, the swimsuit hangs loosely but a little modesty is preserved. I undid both but forgot I did more than once . . . .

At St. Martin's you can go all the way!