Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Operation Pumpkin: Dealing with the Runaway Bride

One of the tittillating little details that crept out of the barrage of news of the Royal Wedding is that there actually was a contingency plan in place in the case that Kate were to bolt. It was called "Operation Pumpkin," for some reason. And it was reported in The Register and in Time Magazine.

Here's my take on what could have happened had she actually been a runaway bride:

"Oh my God, Kate's kicked off her heels and she's sprinting out of Westminister Cathedral! Wilson, put Operation Pumpkin in effect!"

Wilson turns to Pippa, the Maid of Honor: "Okay, Pippa, you know the bargain you made. Hop into this spare bride's dress and you marry William. Oh, and think of England tonight."

Wilson subtly holds a stiletto in Pippa's back. She strips out of her maid of honor clothes and dons the bride's dress while standing in the vestibule. The word is sent to the Prince: "You're marrying Pippa, instead!"

"Oh good. She's smoking hot!"

Pippa asked, "Do I get to be a Duchess and do I still get to go to Disney World?"

Pippa and Wilson go down the aisle, with Wilson holding the enormous train.

"Rule Britainnia, Britainnia waives the rules!"

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