Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Where You Can Pee in Tennessee

The General Assembly of Tennessee may go officially on record regulating where its citizenry can tinkle. Specifically, if a person is to use a public restroom, he or she must use the bathroom in which the sex on your birth certificate matches that of the sex on the sign on the bathroom door. No, this is not a spoof.

State Senator Bo Watson of Chattanooga wants to fine anyone using the wrong sex bathroom $50. While Watson's bill's intended effect is to keep drag queens out of the ladies' room, it also makes it illegal for little boys to go to the bathroom with their mother or for women who are sick of waiting in a long bathroom line to use the men's room when it's unoccupied. The ban on crosssex peeing is absolute.

The proposed legislation states:
where a restroom or dressing room in a public building is designated for use by members of one particular sex, only members of that particular sex shall be permitted to use that restroom or dressing room.

I can imagine myself being with my knees firmly together, seeking to wantonly pee in the men's room of a cafe, voiding in a guys' loo in a Memphis fern bar, and (as the piece de resistance, doing it in the Senate's men's room in Nashville. I need Volunteers to do this massive civil disobedience with me! Tinkle rights for all.

I'm glad I'm from Tennessee, where both sexes and cross-dressers can still use the woods option. What's good for the bears should be okay for us. Or will there someday be separate woods for women and men, with admittance based on birth certificate.

An additional manifestation of legislative stupidity from Nashville comes in the form of the "Don't Say Gay" bill to be discussed today. Specifically, it forbids mentioning in elementary school any form of sexual orientation except heterosexuality. Why don't they also change the name of Gay Street in Knoville while they're at it?


  1. So, does this mean that Tennessee residents (and tourists, and visitors) must now carry a birth certificate in case they have to go to a public restroom? Is a driver's license (which specifies gender) not enough? We need identification to go to the bathroom, but not to vote? Oy!

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