Inflatable Bra

Here's an ad for an inflatable bra that allows you to enlarge yourself to any degree you wish, even to G-cup territory.  wearing one must be a hoot; this would give a real workplace surprise one Monday morning.

And, if you wear it to class, suddenly everyone will be wondering why they missed seeing you before.

Only one possible problem:  Suppose one of the boobs develops a slow leak?  Would that be sufficient reason to abort a date early?  Guys don't typically have a sense of humor about things like that!

Isn't Japanese technology wonderful and practical?  They've developed a bra/swimsuit top in which you can press to enlarge your breast cup size.  It's perfect for those special occasions when you feel that you must look formidable, or at least matronly, and don't expect to be checked out.

I have one concern:  What if one of the cups develops a slow leak?

Brazinga!

 

 

Strange Justice in Billings, Montana

Stacey Dean Rambold, a former high school teacher in Montana, pleaded guilty to raping a 14-year-old student.  This unfortunate girl killed herself.

The Judge, G. Todd Baugh, sentenced the 54-year-old teacher to 15 years in prison; but suspended all of it except for 30 days.  The Judge's comment was that the victim was "older than her chronological age" and was "as much in control of the situation" as the teacher.

What was that old fart thinking?  Is the rape of a juvenile so inconsequential nowadays that a mere 30 days would be the sentence?  That puts it on the same level as a D.U.I. sentence.  I would have thought that the bastard would have deserved a long spell in the prison near Deer Lodge.

http://wwmt.com/template/inews_wire/wires.national/2bf65de4-www.wwmt.com.shtml#.Uh0sglDD_IU
   

The Seville Statement on Violence

The Seville Statement on Violence was adopted a few years ago by an international group of scientists to counter the notion that violence is biologically determined.  It was subsequently adopted by UNESCO. 

The statement contains five core ideas. These ideas are:

1.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that we have inherited a tendency to make war from our animal ancestors."

2.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that war or any other violent behaviour is genetically programmed into our human nature."

3.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that in the course of human evolution there has been a selection for aggressive behaviour more than for other kinds of behaviour."

4.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that humans have a 'violent brain'."

5.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that war is caused by 'instinct' or any single motivation."

The statement concludes: "Just as 'wars begin in the minds of men, peace also begins in out minds.  The same species who invented war is capable of inventing peace.  The responsibility lies with each of us."

--From Wikipedia

It is astonishing that a group of self-designated scientists would come up with this kind of dogmatic statement.  This is more of a homily than any elucidation of scientific principles. 

Science is empirically based; not a matter of faith or wishful thinking.  And the origins of violence, whatever they might be, are properly empirical questions.  The good subscribers to the Seville Statement, in effect, published a Creed, possibly to be recited at appropriate times.  In that way, they join the company of the so-called "creation sciences."

Here's a reductio ad absurdum of their statement:

1.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that we have inherited a tendency to make music from our animal ancestors."2.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that scales or any other violins behaviour is genetically programmed into our human nature."

3.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that in the course of human evolution there has been a selection for musical behaviour more than for other kinds of behaviour."

4.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that humans have a 'violin brain'.

5.  "It is scientifically incorrect to say that music is caused by 'instinct' or any single motivation."

The statement concludes: "Just as 'violin music begin in the minds of men', sonatas also begins in our minds. The same species who invented music is capable of inventing sonatas. The responsibility lies with each of us."

--David Seville, the Barber of Seville and Keeper of the Chipmunks.

Salary Information

There's a Place for Strangeness in Law-Making

Unfortunately, it's often the state legislatures.  Taking cues from nearby North Carolina and Texas, a Tennessee legislator introduced an act protecting the celebration of Christmas.  No other religious holiday was mentioned; and there was no case on record in which the celebration of Christmas was challenged.  Yes, Stacey Campfield proposed it.

It did have a desired effect: it got national press.  Like Tennessee needed more of that type of publicity.

But, okay, let's get serious when it comes to strange legislation.  Already, the eating of roadkill is legal.  But I challenge you to eat an armadillo.  We now have them, unfortunately.

But here's some other ideas:

1.  Banning Dreamsicles, since their colors are too much like U.T.'s.

2.  Limiting sermons to 15 minutes.  How long did it take Jesus to deliver his Sermon on the Mount?

3.  Make crabgrass and kudzu protected vegetarian species.  If you can't lick them, join them.

4.  Make it illegal to own more than two dildoes.  But why allow two?  Isn't that short of like polygamy?

5.  Making it illegal to mosey more than 2.2 miles per hour in Montana.

6.  Montana again: repeal that law forbidding unmarried women from fishing unless accompanied by an escort.  It's kind of strange to try to get a date when you want to fish.

7.  North Carolina has a law prohibiting Bingo games from lasting more than five hours.  Let's set our limit to four.

8.  Make it illegal to call carbonated beverages "pop."

9.  Require all sessions of the General Assembly to be conducted in the nude.

The Problem With Suck

The fact that the English language is dynamic, open to new slants on the meaning of some words can sometimes pose problems.  Let's use Electrolux as an example.  This Swedish company was very proud of their product's efficiency in picking up dirt; they used a series of ads like the following:

 

You can imagine the snickering that too place in English-speaking places, where the word took on a host of other meanings.  The poor Swedish ad agency surely was invoking a testimonial as to the product's efficiency in drawing up stuff by means of a mechanically-induced partial vacuum.

 

Unfortunately, in the English-speaking world it can also be applied to the process of breast-feeding or fellatio.

 

To complicate things further, the term has evolved into a general put-down:

 

"Homework over the Homecoming Weekend?  That sucks!"

 

Therefore, I suggest that in everday parlance people take pains to distinguish what form of sucking is referred to.  It would be an acute source of disappointment and possibly dismay to find out that one's genitals were to be connected to a vacuum cleaner or sump pump! 

 

 

A Totally Moronic Prisoner Treatment Initiative

Okay, even though I'm away from the Volunteer State, I still get perturbed with some of the idiocy that periodically erupts there.  Maybe it's clowns like Stacey Campfield, Joe Armstrong, and some of the other politicos do something utterly amazing.

But this one now comes from Anderson County, just northwest of Knoxville.

It seems that the county wants to charge prisoners in the county jail for personal items: toilet paper, razor blades, shaving cream, sanitary napkins, and even jailbird clothing.

Now I'm not one for coddling lawbreakers, but it seems to me that this is going too far!  Consider that most prisoners are strapped for funds, anyway.  Where's this toilet paper money going to come from?

Prisoners' families, that's who.  And if a prisoner has no one, then he's literally s*** out of luck.

Jesus, how stupid can this get?  Does this count as cruel and unusual punishment?

Where does the concept of being nice come in?

Damn, that's a foreign idea.

So what's going to happen when a guy gets the trots, or a woman has her monthlies?  Will they charge for showers next?

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2013/aug/13/anderson-county-ponders-charging-inmates-for/


The best I can say is: don't screw up in Anderson County.

Great Bar

Pajama Parties as a Learning Experience