Monday, August 19, 2013

There's a Place for Strangeness in Law-Making

Unfortunately, it's often the state legislatures.  Taking cues from nearby North Carolina and Texas, a Tennessee legislator introduced an act protecting the celebration of Christmas.  No other religious holiday was mentioned; and there was no case on record in which the celebration of Christmas was challenged.  Yes, Stacey Campfield proposed it.

It did have a desired effect: it got national press.  Like Tennessee needed more of that type of publicity.

But, okay, let's get serious when it comes to strange legislation.  Already, the eating of roadkill is legal.  But I challenge you to eat an armadillo.  We now have them, unfortunately.

But here's some other ideas:

1.  Banning Dreamsicles, since their colors are too much like U.T.'s.

2.  Limiting sermons to 15 minutes.  How long did it take Jesus to deliver his Sermon on the Mount?

3.  Make crabgrass and kudzu protected vegetarian species.  If you can't lick them, join them.

4.  Make it illegal to own more than two dildoes.  But why allow two?  Isn't that short of like polygamy?

5.  Making it illegal to mosey more than 2.2 miles per hour in Montana.

6.  Montana again: repeal that law forbidding unmarried women from fishing unless accompanied by an escort.  It's kind of strange to try to get a date when you want to fish.

7.  North Carolina has a law prohibiting Bingo games from lasting more than five hours.  Let's set our limit to four.

8.  Make it illegal to call carbonated beverages "pop."

9.  Require all sessions of the General Assembly to be conducted in the nude.


  1. I like number 9, as long as I don't have to watch.

  2. So you will be able to pop someone misusing the word?