Sunday, September 8, 2013

What Should We Call Them?

A lady has bosoms, a bust or a breast,
Those beautiful swellings that bulge 'neath her vest.
They are towers of ivory, sheaves of new wheat,
In a moment of passion, ripe apples to eat.
You may speak of her nipples as fingers of fire,
With hardly a question of raising her ire.
But by Rabelais' beard, she will throw several fits,
If you speak of them, roundly, as good honest...

Okay, according to Oscar Brand, the using of the word 'tits' is a no-no.  Unless we're talking about a type of birds.

But is that true?  Over several nights in a watering hole, I asked ladies present their opinions on each of these terms.  Here's the results.  Be mindful that these are all young, unmarried women living in Montana and going to a university.  All had at least a drink in her:

Breasts           100%
Bosoms           100%
Boobies           80%
Boobs              70%
Tits                  40%
Hooters           20%
Fun Bags           0%

I don't know if this would apply countrywide, as my survey was small, and Montana might be a special case.

After all, we have a Teton River.  It's not big by Eastern standards, but we call it one.


  1. In my case, just so they dont refer to them being too small, like mosquito bites or the like.

  2. Kristen is right. Breasts do just fine. Very fine.

  3. I object to hooters and tits. Funbags is below the pale.

  4. Boobs is number 1. Boobies is a variant, so it's the same thing,
    Breasts are what Doctors call them,
    Funbags is stupid.
    Tits is what guys call them when they are talking amongst themselves.

  5. Hooters is a family restaurant where you get good chicken wings.

  6. I asked Jennifer, and she endorsed boobs. Not too bothered by tits, but fun bags bothered her.

    Good to know.

  7. Kristen and Mike are both right.

  8. Our boobs make the world go round!