High Couture

No Longer Legal Tender

What Should We Call Them?

A lady has bosoms, a bust or a breast,
Those beautiful swellings that bulge 'neath her vest.
They are towers of ivory, sheaves of new wheat,
In a moment of passion, ripe apples to eat.
You may speak of her nipples as fingers of fire,
With hardly a question of raising her ire.
But by Rabelais' beard, she will throw several fits,
If you speak of them, roundly, as good honest...

Okay, according to Oscar Brand, the using of the word 'tits' is a no-no.  Unless we're talking about a type of birds.

But is that true?  Over several nights in a watering hole, I asked ladies present their opinions on each of these terms.  Here's the results.  Be mindful that these are all young, unmarried women living in Montana and going to a university.  All had at least a drink in her:

Breasts           100%
Bosoms           100%
Boobies           80%
Boobs              70%
Tits                  40%
Hooters           20%
Fun Bags           0%

I don't know if this would apply countrywide, as my survey was small, and Montana might be a special case.

After all, we have a Teton River.  It's not big by Eastern standards, but we call it one.

The Testy Festy

The annual Testy Festy is celebrated each year in late July to early August in Clinton, MT.  Here's an occasion for western fun and unhibitionness.  For the intrepid, they can try and be able to boast of having eaten a bull's cojones.  For the daring misses, there's a wet t-shirt contest, good times for all. 

There's four days of unhibited fun here:

http://testyfesty.com/

Dawdling Wenches

Inflatable Bra

Here's an ad for an inflatable bra that allows you to enlarge yourself to any degree you wish, even to G-cup territory.  wearing one must be a hoot; this would give a real workplace surprise one Monday morning.

And, if you wear it to class, suddenly everyone will be wondering why they missed seeing you before.

Only one possible problem:  Suppose one of the boobs develops a slow leak?  Would that be sufficient reason to abort a date early?  Guys don't typically have a sense of humor about things like that!

Isn't Japanese technology wonderful and practical?  They've developed a bra/swimsuit top in which you can press to enlarge your breast cup size.  It's perfect for those special occasions when you feel that you must look formidable, or at least matronly, and don't expect to be checked out.

I have one concern:  What if one of the cups develops a slow leak?

Brazinga!

 

 

Strange Justice in Billings, Montana

Stacey Dean Rambold, a former high school teacher in Montana, pleaded guilty to raping a 14-year-old student.  This unfortunate girl killed herself.

The Judge, G. Todd Baugh, sentenced the 54-year-old teacher to 15 years in prison; but suspended all of it except for 30 days.  The Judge's comment was that the victim was "older than her chronological age" and was "as much in control of the situation" as the teacher.

What was that old fart thinking?  Is the rape of a juvenile so inconsequential nowadays that a mere 30 days would be the sentence?  That puts it on the same level as a D.U.I. sentence.  I would have thought that the bastard would have deserved a long spell in the prison near Deer Lodge.

http://wwmt.com/template/inews_wire/wires.national/2bf65de4-www.wwmt.com.shtml#.Uh0sglDD_IU