Wednesday, June 13, 2012

How to Tell Where a Driver Is From

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: NEW YORK

One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON

One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, bricks on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: OHIO, but driving in BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY

One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: TEXAS

Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: ALABAMA

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA


  1. I think this needs to be expanded into the X-rated one hand one the wheel one hand.......

  2. Both feet on brake, parking brake engaged, one foot tapping the accelerator just a little bit every so often, both hands in lobbyist's pockets, car inching ahead in a perfectly straight line, mind on new sources of campaign contributions ... Washington, DC

  3. Drivers in Atlanta are hyperaggressive, too.