Barroom Pie Fights

I don't know if this kind of "sport" is simultaneously catching on in other parts of the country, but around here a new bar activity is girls' pie fights. It's as lurid as a wet t-shirt contest, but is quite a bit messier -- yet does have some redeeming taste values.

The two contestants wearing swimsuits appear in the contest rink together. Each are each armed with a pair of cream pies: some contestants prefer both to be vanilla custard, while others mix vanilla and chocolate. They stand about six feet apart, and attempt to hit each other with their pies, while trying to dodge their opponent's.

Usually both customers get quite messy in the process; and the audience cheers on this amazing spectacle.

You can call it tacky; and I fully agree. But America, with inventiveness in seeking out new avenues for crass entertainment, have invented tough guy fighting exhibitions, wet t-shirt contests, skin the bunny, midget bowling, and hot dog eating contests. Think of this as part of the grand tradition!