The Tennessee Bikini Team

Well, good ol' Tennessee tended to go in for the bizarre, even back a few years ago.  There's this garden store in Hartsville that made the news for its naked statues. This appeared in The Tennesseean:

New Roadside Attraction's a Coverup

 By KELLI SAMANTHA HEWETT
Staff Writer HARTSVILLE — Since February, they stood proud along Highway 25, their bottoms bare and chests showing, well, a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Then, about three weeks ago, two people, one of them a customer, phoned the G&L Garden Center to say it was way too much and asked the owners to please move them around back.

But the statues weigh as much as 500 pounds each and are an ordeal to move. So owners Angie Langford and Pam Gregory came up with a different approach to customer service.

Nearly a dozen concrete statues are sporting crimson velvet two-piece sarongs — as if Santa had a bikini team.

It's no joke or sarcastic statement.

''We didn't want to offend anyone, and we covered them up,'' said Langford, a resident of Hartsville.

She said she couldn't afford to ignore customers, even if she isn't exactly sure who they are.

Now, the attempt at maintaining the girls' roadside modesty is stopping traffic. And yes, some customers are peeking.

''They are pulling the tops and looking underneath,'' Langford said. ''They wonder what we're hiding.''

It's hard to find people who are offended in Hartsville.

http://www.tennessean.com/local/archives/04/04/49604472.shtml?Element_ID=49604472

Bad Reflection on Things

Supposedly, this was the title picture
for a swimsuit fashion article.

Coda on the General Assembly of Tennessee

Well, the General Assembly of Tennessee has finished its damage for the year.  I would say that they embarassed themselves; but so many of them seemed to be beyond embarassment.  Let's say that they managed to emphasize the "ass" in Assembly. 

Judging from here, the General Assembly was heavily into pleasing the mossbacks and assorted nuts.  The notion of "gateway sexual activity" seems to be a buzzword back home, or so I'm told.  The legislature also tried legislatively to set how high boys wear pants -- we'll see how this goes.  No cracks, please!  Don't go lowerider in the Volunteer State.  The "Don't Say Gay" bill was withdrawn, but only after making the state sound like Idiotland.

Then there's the "monkey bill."  It seems that the legislators should have more respect for their cousins. 

Last month, Republican Gov. Bill Haslam voiced frustration that the Democratic-sponsored saggy pants bill was getting all the attention instead of more substantive measures; however, he oblingingly signed the bill into law.

The governor finally made his first veto since taking office in 2010.  The measure tried to force Vanderbilt University to exempt student religious groups from its nondiscrimination policy.  Haslam said the state had no role in telling a private institution how to run its organization.  Finally he did something against the nincompoopery.

Tennessee Legslature Bans Christmas Story for Failing tp Promote Abstinence

From Notsville.com:

Tennessee legislature bans Christmas story for failing to promote abstinence

Legislation banning parents from reading their children the Christmas story is headed to the governor's desk after approval by the state House of Representatives Friday.  The bill would prevent anyone from reading Bible stories that fail to explicitly promote abstinence.  The bill was drafted by former Sen. David Fowler, who now heads a conservative Christian group called the Family Action Council of Tennessee.  "What's the real message here," asked Fowler of the nativity story.  "It's that abstinence isn't 100 percent effective.  Here's an unwed teenager who didn't have relations and she still got pregnant.  Is this really what we want our children learning in Sunday school?  We've also recommended that churches rip the book of Song of Songs out of their Bibles.  Whoever wrote that book did not have abstinence in mind.  'Your breasts are like two fawns' indeed."

The Great Russian Music Video

This is Nas Ne Dagoniat, by t.A.T.u.

Russia, are you not speeding along like a fiery and matchless troika?
                                                                      - Nikolai Gogol

Dancing on Saloon Tables

Helena, Montana has a law that states that a woman may not dance on a table in a saloon unless she is wearing at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

My Question is, how do they know?  Is there a unit in the Helena Police Department that visits saloons with scales?

Is there much of that sort of thing going on lately?  Is it okay when the legislature is not in session?

Excuse me while I weigh my clothing.  Hmmm.....So much for not wearing a bra.  Should I put on windbreaker and hat as well?

And, of course, socks.  Maybe also wear running shoes. 

Odd law.

Gateway Sexual Activity

Recently the Tennessee General Assembly passed a bill last Friday, drafted by a conservative Christian organization, that makes classroom instructors who promote or condone "gateway sexual activity" subject to a $500 fine.  Whoa!

This bill, SB3310, got a lot of legislative debate. On the House floor it ranged from joking to impassioned oratory over the phrase "gateway sexual activity" that allowed Stephen Colbert a setup for some television laughs and negative comments from the in-state newspapers.

What is this "gateway sexual activity" anyway?  Some think that it is so vaguely defined it could be holding hands, hugging, or just about anything that teenagers do, according to Rep. Mike Stewart, D-Nashville.  He suggested that a teacher chaperoning a high school prom who sees a girl sit in a boy's lap or a couple kissing and takes no action would be deemed to have condoned "gateway sexual activity" and subject to discipline and a fine.  In other words, they don't have to be DOING IT!  Just hugging, kissing, or even holding hands. 

The bill's sponsor, Rep. Jim Gotto, said the new law would not cover such innocuous activity as holding hands but only that which furthers non-abstinent behavior."  Specifically, another person's "intimate parts, or the intentional touching of the clothing covering the immediate area of … any other person's intimate parts, if that intentional touching can be reasonably construed as being for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification."

Specifically, these would be "the primary genital area, groin, inner thigh, buttock or breast of a human being."  Apparently, you can still perform these indecent activities on what you buy at KFC.

Well, I guess that does away with guys copping feels during slow dances, even on the outside of the clothing.  Thank you, Rep. Gotto.  You must have been a real straight-arrow back in h.s.  Or mighty unlucky.

Time for Governor Haslam to get off his duff and veto this bit of crap! 

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Good news!  The "Don't Say Gay" bill is apparently dead this term.  Some people had a touch of sanity. Or maybe they didn't want to change the name of Knoxville's main street downtown.

(The real main street is Kingston Pike.)